Hi, sorry I haven’t updated in a while. There’s a certain way that I want to write my blog, in a structured way, taking elements of my life and analyzing them and writing about them in a way that it sort of makes sense. Basically I’ve tried to write about my life as if someone was actually writing it, like a piece of fiction. And I’ve enjoyed what I have done so far. But it’s made me realize that the connections and themes that I’ve written about regarding my life are just that - stuff that I have written, stuff that I have made up, that may or may not actually be occurring. And I’ve started to analyze stuff as it happens and think, “oh, I could use that, in my blog.” And you know what? It’s exhausting pretending your life is like a movie.
Things didn’t work out with A, basically. I thought we had a connection, and I wrote that huge entry expounding on that connection. But I guess he didn’t think so. So I’m thinking I want to not be so quick to write about what’s going on currently in my life, and expand more about things I’ve already had a chance to think about. There’s a freshness to an entry that’s posted a day or two after the fact, but I think I also run the risk of becoming inauthentic. I don’t want to get to a place where I make up feelings or situations just so I have better “flow” to my writing (although I suppose it would add an air of mystery to what is true and what isn’t!). There’s things I still need to write about, but I’m just going to take a break and let things simmer in my head for now. I’ll try to update with the “A Morioka for All Seasons” category though, eventually.
At the end of this month though, I’ll have written about every single day of the past year in my little secret diary. I don’t want it to be like Kyoto, where if I didn’t write it in my blog I didn’t write about it at all, because I’ve forgotten too much. It’s so important to me to know what I was really feeling at a certain time, because when I go back and think about it, I almost always think about it in a more rational way, and I lose the rawness of that emotion. It’s not something I want to show to anyone, but it’s something I need to remember. And then hopefully…I can use those words for something more polished, like this blog. We’ll see.

















